Posts Tagged ‘sex’
I cannot believe what I saw just now.
Reading an authoritative publication marketing, I came across this:
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Amuse friends
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What do you get when you cross watermelons, sex, eggs and lawsuits? You get to today’s Daily Waffle!
- Watermelon sells for more Y650,000/£3,000/$6,000. It’d better be seedless!
- How British are you in bed? Apparently, I’m Swedish and I have no inhibitions. Take the quiz and let us know how you fared. There’s a marketing case study for new product launches in there somewhere.
- Microsoft’s Eggboy predicts the end of printed media. Someone should have told him about the the prediction that the internet would eradicate TV and books. By the way, if you have been living under a rock, this is how he got the name. And you have to play this game.
- Los Angeles sues TimeWarner for crap internet service. Move the residents here and they’ll know what crap is.
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Spread the weekend fun!
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Last week a man from the Japanese city of Fukuoka (that Foo-coo-oh-ka, folks) was caught stealing this woman’s boots from a dressing room of a sports club, which are usually left outside the lockers as they are too big to fit inside.
Wanked Furiously.
Married.
Furious no more.
- John Heppolette
photo by fonecamshaz
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sharing is good
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You add the bed… subtract the clothes… divide the legs…
leave your solution… and pray you don’t multiply!
They undermine men by saying that all we’re ever interested in is sex, and particularly during Valentines’ Day. Apparently, we only want our partners to wear skimpy, uncomfortable lingerie that exposes most parts and leave nothing to the imagination. As if sex games and dirty thoughts are what dominate our minds.
What happened to the romance and the cuddling and the long talks and laying in bed or hours and not having an erotic activity happening?
Watch this ad and you will see what I mean.
The tag line is so dirty! GIVE HIM WOOD?! I reiterate; it’s dirty, it’s derogatory, it’s glammed up and shameless. The ad itself…stockings, silk, lace, peek-a-boos, high heels, pouting……………..Like I said, Ann Summers is about nothing but glammed up, immoral, dirty, shameless sex and that’s … HOT! AND THAT’S WHY I LOVE IT!
photo by mebabyjd
I do notice that this topic is somewhat outdated, but I thought I’d share with you a new insight. Or a revelation. You see, it’s a scandal.
New year resolutions never work. The reason for it is simple – New Year’s Resolutions are boring and mindless. There’s almost nothing worse than trying to fulfill a resolution, except perhaps being an environmentalist. Or a vegan. They simply never work because they are no fun at all! We make plans to have fun, not to bore ourselves to death. Like planning for a holiday, or planning to get rich – these are planning, they usually have a positive and fun outcome. But resolution, end in pain, suffering, anxiety, arguments and death.
Take someone whose resolution is to quit smoking. First of all; why? I recently cut down because of the astronomical price I have to pay. Death has nothing to do with it. But my god is it boring, I find myself chewing more gun, eating more snacks, and getting fat. My manager once parted with his supreme knowledge: “If you get the munchies when you try to quit, eat celery or carrot sticks.”
I’d rather eat glass.
I digress. Going back to the subject of boring resolutions, here’s a tip for those of you who have yet to make one and still want to: make it a fun one! For example:
1. My resolution is to learn to drive a £100,000+ car (To reduce mundaneness, also think of other criteria e.g. over 500 bhp, acceleration under 4 secs etc)
2. My resolution is to list the 10 best wines I can buy for under £7.50 (To add fun, change 10 to 100. Or 1,000)
3. My resolution is to discover the maximum amount of time a man can masturbate before going blind
4. My resolution is to find out how many times intercourse will happen before a dose of 4 Viagra runs out
5. My resolution is to find the perfect place to retire (the post header images are there for a reason, you know)
With these resolutions, I bet you will have lots of fun, and hopefully will never have to ask the question “How can I achieve my New Year’s Resolution?” ever again.
