Posts Tagged ‘tv’

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Ohmygodmygodmygodmygod. This is my OLED dreams come true.

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photo by finchlitvack

It seems that these days everything’s getting flatter. First came the flat screen TV’s and ultra-thin mobile phones. Then it was the thin war between computer makers, and suddenly cars came flat too! Ferraris (any!) but think Enzo, Mercs SLR, SL, CL and Audi R8. Flatpacked furniture from Scandinavia. Now Apple’s gone and done it too. I used to be able to feel my iPod teaming up with gravity to pull my jeans down whilst I’m rushing to get past the closing doors on trains only to have gotten on the train sans jeans! Now with the new iPod Touch and iPhone, I can barely feel anything. I can be assured that I’d get onto the train, decently I might add, but looking like a pervert with worm infestations since I have to be shuffling through my jacket and jeans pocket every now and again to check if they’re still there. Don’t even get me started on the MacBook Air. It might as well have been made of air. The worst this flattening mania, methinks, is the effect on our supermodels. We now have washboards on catwalk! If pale-skin large-eyed weirdly-formed-faced extra terrestrial beings came to our planet with the intention of colonisation, they would think that had never left their home planet in the first place! What happened to the days of Claudia Schiffer and full volume? They’ve been replaced with Lily Cole and Kate Moss, two people who seem to look very much at home with starving children from Ethiopia! What happened to womanly curves and hourglass figures? Alas, those days are gone.

On a not so recent Times column, Rod Liddle was commenting on Catherine Tate, possibly UK’s most annoying woman. This little line here, which almost made me piss myself, perfectly describes what I think of the woman:

“Tate’s show consists of a seemingly endless recitation of numbingly familiar catchphrases that were not very funny in the first place. The same woeful dross repeated week after week: humour for people with the IQ of a whelk. Am I bovvered? You should be, love – you’re about as funny as Pakistan.”

To read the whole column, click here.

Did you guys (in the UK) catch that god-awful documentary about men turning into women and vice versa? Was that gross or was that gross? It was gross. Frankly I’d rather shove KILL in my eye than watch that programme! If you were lucky indeed to miss it, be thankful to be whatever gender you are.





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