The Laggard King of Filmdom


One of the things I enjoy most for a quite evening out is going to the cinema. Paradoxically, it ain’t that quiet in there, but you know what I mean. When you have a couple of hours to spare and you don’t feel like doing anything else. Just get online, book your tickets, get there, and you’re done.

But after starting this masters’ degree, the only time I ever have time for a movie is during breaks between projects – also when I’m sitting on the john. Considering a movie these days lasts 120-150 minutes and my breaks last 15 minutes, a film would take me about 4 days to finish, which, incidentally, is how long you would be able to sleep after watching Kubrick’s Space Odyssey (I hear people arming up).

Of course you also have to factor in the partner, the phone, the critters (not kids), the snow, the Queen. Realistically, it now takes me about a month to finish a film. Of course, by the time I get to the end, I have no recollection of the beginning, so I tend to try and jog memory by watching the first 10-15 minutes.

Usually, I see scenes that I cannot at all recall, since my brain is already overflowing with charts and graphs and stupid marketing terminology – which, by the way, if you are a marketer, PEOPLE HATE! So stop using them. You’re supposed to be speaking to customers so that they know what you’re talking about. How can clients and customers understand what you’re about if you speak like you’re using quantum physics to build a machine that can take you into a TV set so you can bonk Sharon Stone when she spreads her legs?

As I was saying: I tend to forget what I’ve seen so to recall, I could end watching more than the 10-15 minutes in the beginning. So these days, in times of DVD bookmarking and chapter searching, my films tend to last more than a month. And if I were to remember the film, I’d have to watch it twice, so I finish in three months.

Come to think about it, that’s no bad thing- I could end buying only ONE film a year and I could still find it entertaining.


  1. Ed

    I’m arming up….

  2. M

    It is a very beautifully shot film, no doubt and for that time it was an amazing film and extremely cutting edge. But it is just so boring, the sequences are too long and the climax is well, somewhat more like a fizzle. If they made a remake, in that the sequences were shorter and punchier, I lwould lve it.

  3. M

    Now I see why you love that it Film, Ed. It’s so obvious.

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