Death by farts

515853609_34d92b479b_m.jpgLooks like we may have to stop making fun of the farm animals and their farts (ha ha). Their farts – ahem, flatulence – has been proven to kill.

And not in the traditional sense, either (ha ha). They have some sort of weird alien things that’s alive and lives in their farts. They cling onto your clothes. What happens is when a ____ (insert farm animal) releases bodily gas (snicker) it attaches itself to dust particles. Then it detects human warmth and then it detaches itself from the particle and sticks to you! These nanomonsters jump into your body through the usual crevices – nose, mouth, ear etc – and lodges into your throat, then your lungs and stop you from breathing, causing respiratory disease and eventual death.

This was an actual quote: “Aside from the stink problem, the gassy particles may pose human health risks.

And the kicker is that it will be published in a journal called Biosystems Engineering. These people are laughing their heads off coming up with these terms to mask the fact that it’s actually a journal of how farts are produced!

I hear Comedy Central calling…

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