Posts Tagged ‘ferrari’

One day, when I’m wealthy enough, I would have a fairly large house in an ultra-large piece of land. It’s going to have a glass tower on a cliff, overlooking the city, a river flowing around and through the main building, a cinema, you know what I mean, all the boys toys that money can buy. And when I do, I’m not going to drive around in my Ferraris or Bugattis, I’m going to use a Peel P50 and Trident. Why? Because I can!

Actually I think it’s to solve my egoistical tendencies that I want to feel like a giant and everyone has to bow to me. Oh, while I’m at it, I might also build a mini-world, you know, like Legoland? And I would crush it. I’ve already done it once before. Look:

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photo by finchlitvack

It seems that these days everything’s getting flatter. First came the flat screen TV’s and ultra-thin mobile phones. Then it was the thin war between computer makers, and suddenly cars came flat too! Ferraris (any!) but think Enzo, Mercs SLR, SL, CL and Audi R8. Flatpacked furniture from Scandinavia. Now Apple’s gone and done it too. I used to be able to feel my iPod teaming up with gravity to pull my jeans down whilst I’m rushing to get past the closing doors on trains only to have gotten on the train sans jeans! Now with the new iPod Touch and iPhone, I can barely feel anything. I can be assured that I’d get onto the train, decently I might add, but looking like a pervert with worm infestations since I have to be shuffling through my jacket and jeans pocket every now and again to check if they’re still there. Don’t even get me started on the MacBook Air. It might as well have been made of air. The worst this flattening mania, methinks, is the effect on our supermodels. We now have washboards on catwalk! If pale-skin large-eyed weirdly-formed-faced extra terrestrial beings came to our planet with the intention of colonisation, they would think that had never left their home planet in the first place! What happened to the days of Claudia Schiffer and full volume? They’ve been replaced with Lily Cole and Kate Moss, two people who seem to look very much at home with starving children from Ethiopia! What happened to womanly curves and hourglass figures? Alas, those days are gone.