Posts Tagged ‘geek’

Okay, maybe the title of this entry wasn’t very convincing, but you will agree after reading this post. You’ll see the logic. First of all, it’s very hard to get people to visit your blog. Why? There are tonnes of blogs out there that are more interesting than reading about how you broke your fingernail or you woke up last night in front of the bin outside the home of a Thai ladyboy. There are also lots of other things to do on the internet like downloading pornographic images. I don’t even know if people are reading my blog. However, there’s a clear reason why. I am neither a geek nor a babe. Yep, I don’t know so much about something I could charge USD300 for a book I wrote on the loo on the train to Eastern Europe for a “fun weekend” and neither am I so hot that even with my clothes on I can fog up windscreens in summer. You can either be butt ugly but terribly good at oh I don’t know – application of quantum physics in a wok. Or you can be so breathtakingly good-looking (of course, this is subjective), people would pay you to kick them in the te$ticles. Or you can be Natalie Portman. If you are either one of the previously mentioned, traffic could come to your website pretty easily and making money for you. If you are the third option, my number is…

Apart from uni work, I’ve spent almost half a day yesterday and today to try and figure out this WordPress. It works very differently form Bl*gger and I getting things running while trying to become familiar with the settings is really difficult. Not knowing web-programming really sucks. See, we make fun of geeks and their tech-y talk but deep down inside we all want to be a geek so we don’t look like a cock when our hi-fi or 50in. plasma screen stops working, or when your blog or website looks like an elephant’s diarrhea. Plus, for some reason or another, these geeks usually can afford all the latest hardware! Haven’t you ever wondered where their money comes from? Do companies put them in ultra-top-secret extra-terrestrial projects and pay them so well so that they’d shush? Is that why they speak a different language to us? Some say that because they can’t get laid they spend every penny on their equipment. And cyber-sex. But clearly this is not so as I have a friend who is – how shall I put this as not to offend him – very tech-savvy, seems to be the life of the party most weekends and can drink like a camel! Some of his previous lady companions have also spread around something which has something to do with him being hung like…I can’t remember what animal they used, but it was wild. So was the thing being referenced to. Have you seen that The Creep video by Fedde le Grand and Camille Jones? Click on the Y*uTube below if you haven’t. I believe that those ladies are specimens of the elusive female geek genus. Very intelligent, very sexy, very irresistible and definitely very insatiable. That’s why you don’t see many around. They’re usually always behind closed doors. And also out in the open, but in the dark! So in my next life I want to be born a eccentric, partying, drinking GEEK GOD with animalistic sexual appetite. With the girth to go with that. And I shall speak like that 1…0…..10…..01….100…..1….01…..1…..

I salute you, geeks!