Serious loadda crapper

February 18, 2008 in archInte, woah!
Tags: comedy, lavish, toilets

We’ve heard of stories of rich people having weird toilets and oil-rich kings building their toilets with gold. But how about spending thousands on YOUR toilet? Meet the Toto MS990CGR-12 Neorest Toilet. The name suggests something that can fly to the International Space Station, dock, upload supplies in a matter of seconds and come back down to Earth again. Of course, you’d have to take away the word “toilet”.

Apparently the lid opens as I close-in on it. I wonder what if someone was “in a rush” and the toilet is ever-so-elegantly slowly and gently lifting its head and this poor soul is there probably crapped all over the place.

Then you have an auto flush. What you need is vocal capabilities, like Garfield’s talking weighing scale, and you have Comedy Central. “WOO HOO! Lay off the tikka masala, dude!”

It sports CycloneFlush (TM) technology and it “delivers higher performance than anything you’ve ever experienced.” Okay, first of all, just say it as it is: “Drowns all your shit, no matter how large.” And secondly: I’ve never really experienced a flush.

Best of all, is it has a manual override button, which is “discreet”. Right, at this point, I am helplessly tearful from the laughter and I can barely type. I have tapped “delete” at least ten times just trying to type this sentence. “Discreet manual override button”? So you can manually lift the toilet lid and flush! Oh my aching jaws, my cheeks!

Please, just visit this page and laugh to your heart’s content.